The stuff of nightmares

Taking The Obnoxious SAHM's lead, I feel the need to get something off my chest. I feel a little bad griping about it because it's a children's show, but those of you who know me, know I am vehemently opposed to "Yo Gabba Gabba." It's incredibly obnoxious and I won't let my children near it.

So Obnoxious SAHM, I'll see your "Max & Ruby" and raise you an orange wig and a red nubby dildo. You wanna talk crazy? This show is all kinds of crazy!
First, I feel a violent need to bitch slap the main character. I don't even know his name, I just call him Queer Dude With The Orange Wig. There are SO many things wrong with his character. (A) The tacky ass orange wig. Or is that a hat? Who knows. (B) That orange leisure suit. Ugh. Hey Queer Dude, the '70s called and they want their clothes back! (C) The stereotypical over-sized boom box. Do people even own these anymore? (D) His inability to dance worth a shit. Go to YouTube and search up a video, or better yet, just take my word for it and save yourself the eye bleed. And finally (E) The songs he sings make me want to rip my ears off and stomp on them. "Don't bite your friends! Don't bite your friends! Don't bite your friends!" WTF?! Just...WTF?

Second, on what planet did this show look like a good idea?! Because the characters that hang with Queer Dude With The Orange Wig all looks like dog toys. Freakin' DOG TOYS! Who did the market research on this and said, "Hey, kids LOVE shows about dog toys!"?? Because whoever thought it, should be bitch slapped, too. The show is just so wrong and grating. All you Barney haters, check out Queer Dude With The Orange Wig! Barney looks like Justin Timberlake compared to Queer Dude With The Orange Wig.

Third, let's talk specifically about the tall, red, dog toy. Does it or does it not look like a giant red dildo? It totally does! Admit it. A friend pointed out that it's not any kind of dildo she'd be interested in...because of the teeth. LOL. And she's right. Yikes!

So gimme the cute, chubby, irresponsible bunnies any day! You can have Queer Dude With The Orange Wig and his giant, biting dildo.

Am I right, readers?! Is this nightmarish or what?!

--Mom