Tuesday, April 7, 2009

"50 Things To Do Butt Naked"

That was the headline blazing across the front of Cosmo magazine as I stood in the grocery store check-out line yesterday. Seriously? Things to do sans pants? WTF?

I admit though that I contemplated buying it, mainly because it's been years since I've looked at Cosmo. And even this morning I'm thinking I may go back for it. But then again...why do I need a list of 50 activities that don't require pants? Am I seriously going to seek out these butt-naked situations? Uh, no.

Still, I'm curious to see what's on the list because I can only think of a few bare-assed activities, and one I don't want to do with anyone else around. So that pretty much leaves showering, skinny dipping and sex. What could the other 46 things possibly be? If I decide to go back for the Cosmo, I'll let you know, just in case you find yourself bored, without your pants.

What I can do though, is come up with a number of things I DON'T want to do with my ass hanging out. So here we go...

"10 Things Not To Do Butt-Naked"
  1. Go mountain climbing while wearing a strap-on rope harness
  2. Ride a crowded New York City subway train
  3. Be the anchor in a four-person nude luge sled
  4. Slide into home to make the winning run for the softball team
  5. Sit in a nudist colony movie theater seat for two hours
  6. Fall on a hill of fire ants
  7. Ride a unicycle in the circus
  8. Go down a metal slide on a hot day at the playground
  9. Sit on a old wooden picnic table at a highway rest area
  10. Join the prison wrestling team

So, what did I miss? Anything?



The Diva on a Diet said...

Wait, is the term "butt-naked" or "buck naked"? Have I been saying it wrong all these years?!

BTAIM, I would NOT bend down to pick up a dropped penny while butt or buck naked.

I'm curious about the other 46 on Cosmo's list ... will stay tuned ...

Mom said...

I think the saying is "buck naked" and that the article was suggesting no-pants options. So, butt naked. But since I didn't buy the mag, I'm not sure. Perhaps I need to purchase it for that very reason--clarification.

And I agree...pennies need to stay where they are when one is naked.

Anonymous said...

Buck naked/Butt naked. I'm not doing hardly anthing without pants. Your list made me laugh though.


Debbie said...

So, we're talking about wearing a shirt and bra and some footwear? Huh. I suppose that would be freeing in certain regards.

At any rate, one should not fry bacon unless fully clothed.

Maureen said...

What Cosmo won't do to sell a magazine, eh?

I can't imagine peeling myself off a leather seat in a non-air conditioned car in July.


Anonymous said...

It's funny that this is the first thing that pops up while doing a web search on that very article, which I also had seen at the store but was not going to buy for one article. (I suppose you could count the fact that I'm also a male, though other than clothing and certain situations - none of which involve reading - it has never crossed my mind as to something being strictly one way.)

I think the article should have said naked - I think most guys who have also seen the headline would agree that this is what they thought when they saw it as well. (To many guys I know, "Butt-naked," "buck-naked", and "naked" are all the same, though I prefer the term "nude.") Since it's considered a woman's magazine, however, I'll let you think what you want.

I think your list would apply to anyone, male or female, unless a) it was co-ed or b) everyone else was forced to do it. Even then, however, some of us would agree that it would be beter to shoot and kill us than be forced to slide into home to make the winning run for the softball team. (I'd have to be shot - I wouldn't be able to slide, even if I wanted to!)

Although this made me smile, I need to get back to my search. Thanks for the laugh!

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