Thursday, July 2, 2009

A big hairy deal

Something must be wrong in my subconscious, because I recently had TWO dreams about shaving. Shaving badly, to be precise! I must be secretly worried that I'm not doing right.

The first dream centered around a patch of hair I'd apparently missed for, like, 30 years. The spot was on my right leg, approximately 3 inches around, just above my outer ankle bone. It was long and bushy, like pubes, down near my ankle. HOW could I have missed that my whole adult life? I was horrified in my dream. I remembering thinking that EVERYONE must have seen that nasty shit, and NO ONE told me! Not even my own husband! WTF?

Within a day or two I dreamt about a wad of hair under my left arm inside my bra strap. There it was, a shrub of hair branching out from inside my bra! Had I been to the pool in a swimming suit with that scary stuff?! AND the patch down by my ankle? Jesus, what must the neighbors think of me?! How could I have possibly missed that while shaving? And when did I become such a hairy Sasquatch?

I really hope I don't have any more hairy dreams. They're quite unsettling, and I'm starting to feel a little paranoid. That amount of hairy is decidedly NOT sexy.

What do you suppose it all means?



Unknown said...

Gee I really don't know what your dream meant. I just don't want a dream like STOPPING IN FROM SITS

Candice said...

It means those scary Vietnamese ladies at your nearest nail salon has definitely got mind control over you now.

Must. Go. Get. Waxed. Now

Run Chewbacca, RUN!!

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