Thursday, July 16, 2009

How'd you find me?

I love looking at my search statistics. It's a fascinating look into the human mind. A freaky ass look as I've discovered, but a look nonetheless.

According to my numbers, it seems that people are aching for "jimmy buffet invitations." Please people, I do not have the invitations! Thanks for looking, but I'm more the go-to gal for jellos shooters and boozy watermelons. If you locate an invitation though, I'll happily bring both! Deal?

People are looking for a "hairy mom" and a "butt naked mom." OK, seriously? Both are equally disturbing. I can sort of understand the butt naked mom (MILF!) but a hairy mom...~brrrrr~...that creeps me out. Who the fuck wants to find a hairy mom on the Internet? And no doubt they were looking for photos, too. Freak! (Which one of you was it?! LOL)

I hope the person looking for "crazy 80's birthday invitations" finds one. AND invites me to the par-tay! As previously mentioned, I can be counted on to bring the shooters and watermelon.

"Houses you did not build" isn't really all that interesting. Who wants to know that kind of information? Don't 99% of us live in houses we did not build? I'll bet whoever was searching for that lame tidbit was pretty sad to discover me bitching about stuff instead.

I do love that someone wants to know "what funny brat pack movie featured a princess, an athlete, a brain, a basket case and a criminal?" because Breakfast Club was one of my movie faves from last week. (Glad to be of service, dude!)

OK lastly, lemme tell ya, there are HUNDREDS of people looking for things to "butt naked." I think it's a little whack that people can't figure that one out on their own, but if Cosmo felt the need to do a whole cover article on it, I suppose it's a real problem. (C'mon people, you're naked, think it through!!) This is my post that is the most searched of all: "50 Things to Do Butt Naked." It was actually one of my first!

What searches combos got them to that post, you ask? I'll tell you!

  • 50 things to do butt naked
  • 50 things to do bare assed
  • 50" butt (OK wait...someone is looking for a 50 inch butt?
    Sir Mix-A-Lot would be pleased!)
  • Fun things to do butt naked
  • Cosmos 50 things to do naked
  • Cosmos 30 things to do to a naked man

I sincerely hope there are a lot of readers out there gettin' some, with all that naked searching going on! ~wink, wink~

So, have you ever checked your search stats? What were some of the interesting or funny catch phrases?

--Mom

5 comments:

The Diva on a Diet said...

Leading the charge for me this month is: "ugly chicken pictures"! Not quite as bad as "hairy moms" but still ... WTF?!

Courtney said...

I actually found you on Humor-Blogs.com I was attracted to the pink for sure! Nice blog :)

GrowFarmington said...

sadly the number of butt naked people you actually want to see gets, ahem, smaller every day

Mom said...

Diva, LOL! I wonder why people need photos of ugly chickens?

Welcome Courtney!

GF, sadly, you're right! We should be vigilant and keep looking tho. LOL

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