Tuesday, May 19, 2009

Mulch. I don't get it.


I don't get all the hoopla surrounding mulch. I really don't. I don't know why people use it. I don't know why people pay money for it. I can't comprehend why it's somehow become a landscaping necessity. It's...shit and...sticks. We pay hundreds of dollars for hundreds of pounds of...shit-n-sticks! WHY?! Why do we do this?

I grew up in Colorado and back then, no one mulched. People had rocks gardens or flower beds surrounded with rock. It was sometimes plain white rock, or random pebbles, or smooth tumbled rock, but not...shit-n-sticks. I was appalled my first summer here on the east coast when my dad had an enormous pile of shit-n-sticks delivered to the driveway--deliberately! Oh, the STENCH! I thought I would DIE. And the way it looked, my GOD, who in their right mind would put THAT around their flowers and shrubs?! WHO?! And for what purpose?

And now that I'm married with a husband and bushes and a driveway of my own, guess what we get delivered every spring. Any ideas? Yup, a heaping pile of shit-n-sticks! And that smell...it makes me want to rip my nose off and stomp on it. And the way it looks... ~gag~. As long as I live, I swear, I will never understand the use of shit-n-sticks. Can someone please explain it to me? Anyone? Anyone?

--Mom

7 comments:

Maureen said...

Ha! How true! But the plants like it, no? I have gone the cheap, erm "frugal" route and started composting myself (well, not composting me, per se, but my organic garbage). But you need a large yard and lots of patience (a large yard to keep the smell downwind).

Debbie said...

It keeps the m-f'in weeds from growing.

The Diva on a Diet said...

Being a city girl, I haven't a clue. You're on your own here, Mom, I'm afraid.

(And yes I'm *very* afraid ... P U!)

Bee said...

I don't do mulch in my garden but this year I will ask my husband to save some leaves so that I may cover my perennials to protect them from the harsh bitch that is winter.

I'm turning into a 60 year old Florida retiree.

~~Mel~~ said...

Yeah..I don't get it either lol.

Mom said...

Well, ours is spread out in all the flower beds. And who, it's aromatic! But hopefully there won't be any m-fin weeds!

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