Wednesday, May 20, 2009

Dying of this year's American Idle...

I don't think I'm the intended audience for American Idol. I always want the edgy characters to win, and sadly, they never do. I was all about beatboxer Blake Lewis, and long-hair Bo Bice. My votes were thrown at rocker Chris Daughtry, and this season, Adam Lambert. I don't go for tame boys and girls next door.

Also, my heart must be made of steel because I don't like slow songs, love songs, sappy songs or the specially-written-for-Idol songs. I need edge. I need rock, hip-hop, funk or punk. I'm near death on country night and on show tunes night, you might as well rip my ears off and stomp on them. And ballads? Blech.

So it should come as no surprise that Kris Allen's win on American Idol has left me cold. In fact, I'm pretty chilly at the end of all Idol seasons. I never like the winner. The worst season for me, until this one, was the year Taylor Hicks won. The amount of oozing schmaltz that year was uber syrupy and nauseating for me. As I write this post it's a damn wonder I even remember Hicks' name. Usually I have to call him "that one dorky guy that I didn't like" because...I didn't like him and I can't seem to commit his name to memory.

This season has hit a new low for me. Kris Allen? Seriously? America, what the fuck were you thinking?! There has never been an Idol winner with less charisma and stage presence than Kris Allen. Never. Not one! Most of the things under my kitchen sink have more magnetism than Kris Allen. The kid who ends up crying during the Christmas pageant has more stage presence than Kris Allen, our new American Idle.

And for the love of GOD, what is with those monkey faces he makes when he sings?! It makes me want to give him a pair of freakin' cymbals to bang together. I'm sure in a few weeks I won't even remember his name and I'll have to call him "monkey boy" or something, which galls the hell out of me because I hate monkeys. HATE them. But that's a whole other post for another day.

Do I think Adam Lambert is the best singer on the planet? No. But he didn't bore the shit out of me. So, let it be known that I am again disappointed by the lack of edge, and now allure, of this year's American Idol winner. When will I ever learn?!

Or am I completely wrong about Kris?



The Diva on a Diet said...

OMG, I could not agree with you more! I'm so pissed off about the results I almost scrapped my Thirsty Thursday post so I could blog about my rage today. Happily, you've expressed my rage for me, Mom, so thanks!

My dish rag has more personality and charisma than Kris. And, OMG, the monkey faces! Thank God someone's finally mentioned it. They've been driving me crazy all season. His voice is nice ... but its just "nice". Is that what they're looking for?

Adam is a star ... and isn't finding a star the point of the show?! I guess we have to conclude that its not. Otherwise I wouldn't end up so pissed off every year. Bah!

Thanks for letting me get my rant on - I feel better now ... but only a little. :/

Candice said...

Monkey faces! Fuck yeah! Finally someone who I can relate too. I wanted to kick old dude in the balls every time he put the mic up to his mouth.

He annoyed the crap out of me. Unfortunately Adam annoyed me more with his manscara and singing with his tongue sticking out.

I'm just glad it's finally ovah!

Yellow Beads said...

I admit, I don't watch it!

Mom said...

Diva, I knew you'd be with me! Tell it sister!

Candice, I'm glad it's over, too. It's been a damn long season.

~~Mel~~ said...


I loved Adam from almost the very beginning...the song that did if for me was "Tracks of my Tears"...I downloaded it immediately and still love to play it...

But did you see them perform with Kiss on finale night??? Kris couldn't even be heard over Adam's pipes!!!

I can't believe how wrong America go it...or maybe I can since they seem to get it wrong every single year...

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